So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
