he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
