I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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