It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize