using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
