just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
