OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
