I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
