I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
