If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
