um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
