Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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