1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
