Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you will always have a special place in my vag
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
