My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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