I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
