I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
