dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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