Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
