from now on my penis is your penis
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
