She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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