So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
