I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
