My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
