Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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