Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
