i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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