this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
