You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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