I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
