is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
