.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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