Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
