its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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