i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
