one might say we're banned from that church
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
