new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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