i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize