the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
