He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
