please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
