Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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