loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
