Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
