They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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