yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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