obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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