Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
