I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
