real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
