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He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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