Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
