im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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