Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love you.
Bad choice
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize