VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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