This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
