did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
