D3 body, D1 cock
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So much rum. So many feels.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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